Relationships can sometimes present emotional challenges, even for the most well-matched of couples. However, these can be amplified when one partner suffers from a mental health problem such as depression. This is a complex issue, because it can affect people in different ways and there are certainly no one-size-fits-all answers.
It may be that the couple could benefit from some professional help to identify the best course of action. At our practice in Manchester, we have counsellors who specialise in couples and depression therapy, and we can help to guide you through what can be a very difficult time in the lives of both you and your partner.
Here are some useful practical strategies that can help you to support a partner with depression or a related mental health problem such as stress or anxiety.
Encourage them to achieve small fun goals
Your partner will probably not want to be faced with a list of goals if their mental health is fragile, but doing small enjoyable things together can make a difference. Think about activities that they used to enjoy but have stopped doing, such as going for a walk, bike ride, or to the cinema.
By doing simple fun activities together, your partner is less likely to feel defined by their mental health diagnosis and will remember the other aspects of their identity, helping them to get mentally stronger.
Listen without judgement
Encourage your partner to talk about the way they are feeling, and listen carefully to what they are saying without interrupting or offering advice.
This can be a difficult thing to do, because naturally you are concerned about them and may be looking for a way to ‘fix’ the problem. However, simply by being understanding and non-judgemental, you can help them to feel less isolated and gain more insight into their troubling emotions.
Identify any triggers
Sometimes, mental health conditions can be triggered or made worse by certain situations or behaviours. For example, depression and anxiety can be intensified by alcohol consumption, lack of sleep, lack of exercise, or not eating properly. If you notice these behaviours in your partner, avoid confronting them or blaming them, as this could just make it worse.
Choose a quiet moment when you are both more relaxed and start a conversation about what makes them feel worse. If they can recognise the triggers for themselves, they will be more likely to take preventative action in the future.
Take care of yourself
Living with someone who has a mental health problem can be tough. You may feel drained and anxious yourself, so it’s important to set boundaries and take care of your own health.
Spend time with friends or family away from your partner, and keep up with your own hobbies and interests: you need an emotional outlet of your own to avoid burnout, and also to remain strong to support your partner.