At some point in each of our lives, there is a breakdown in a relationship that matters a lot to us.
This can be a working relationship, a friendship or a romantic relationship, and it can be difficult to navigate a weaving web of complex emotions alone. Many people seek out support from professional therapy to help them during a period of emotional trauma.
When you are in this tempest of emotions it can be extremely difficult to know when to move on, or even feel like these emotions will ever pass. They always do, but in the midst of healing from painful disconnections, knowing what to do next can be difficult.
Moreover, it can be difficult to know what the right time is to move forward, particularly after the breakdown of a romantic relationship, and move forward with your goals and desires in life.
As with any other kind of progress, slow, sustained change is more beneficial and more likely to stick than rapid fluctuations. Moving too quickly can sometimes lead to greater hurt in the short term, particularly if it leads you towards a rebound relationship.
Whilst everyone is different, here are some ways to tell if it is the right time to move forward.
When You Feel A Want Rather Than A Need
Part of the reason why so many people will enter relationships more quickly than they should after a breakup is because they are looking to replace what they feel is missing from their lives.
It can feel like such a palpable need, especially if you feel heartbroken seeing other happy couples or if your ex-partner has already moved on. You can easily feel insecure and that can lead to trying to find a new connection too quickly.
Instead, when you feel like a connection is something that will add to your life rather than simply replace what has been lost, you will be ready to move on.
You Find Yourself Again
You do not necessarily need to love yourself again, but particularly after a long-term relationship, it can be tricky to find who you are because you have been intertwined with someone else.
At some point during the healing process, you start reconnecting with old friends, meeting new ones, establishing your own hobbies and interests, and having goals in life that are just about you.
This clear sense of self is so important for not only your happiness right now but also for a fulfilling relationship going forward.
You Can See What Next Looks Like
Sometimes you need to be able to be able to visualise a path forward for you before you can walk down it, and whilst you don’t need to have a five-year plan for your emotional well-being, having an idea of what you want the next part of your life to look like will help you get there.
It could simply be a matter of not wanting to commit to anything serious, it could be enjoying yourself for a while or it could be looking for someone who you connect to in a way that validates you and aligns with who you are now, rather than making you feel you need to compromise yourself.
Working with a therapist can be a great idea not only with short-term pain but also to make that big step forward and set yourself up for long-term happiness.